Fullmetal Alchemist Manga Characters Interviews
by RoyxRizaFan
Summary: With every chapter I will come out with an interview with the characters that played important roles in it. This is just a silly idea I came up with while reading chapter 84!
1. 84 In the Hunter's Shadow Interview

Interviewer: As a huge fan of Full Metal Alchemist, I became determined to get an interview with the main characters of the ca

**Interviewer:** As a huge fan of Full Metal Alchemist, I became determined to get an interview with the main characters of the cast. It turns out that we had such a great time looking back and discussing the latest chapter, 84 _In the Hunter's Shadow_, that we've decided to get together and continue this for as long as possible. For now, I'm going to let you see our first interview, but as more and more chapters come out, I will continue to put them up for everyone to see! I hope you enjoy this as much as I did!

…

**Interviewer: **With me today are Ed, Al, Winry, Grumman, and Gluttony to talk about the recent developments in chapter 84. To start off, I'd like to ask Ed and Winry what their thoughts were when they realized that Ed is now taller than Winry.

**Ed: **Are you trying to say I was _short _before this chapter?

**Winry**: I didn't say anything about it this episode because I've noticed his growth spurt for a while now, though it was a little clearer now than ever. I'm very pleasantly surprised about this!

**Interviewer: **Speaking of surprises, what was your reaction to finding Ed waiting in your room when you returned from Reole?  
**Winry: **(glares at Ed) It wasn't a very _good _reaction. I wasn't too pleased about that, Ed, and I'm not letting you off the hook for that…but at least I was able to beat you with my wrench for revenge.

**Ed: **I _swear _was only in there because of the _good view_.

**Interviewer: **I'm sure you were.

**Ed: **And what's that supposed to mean?

**Interviewer: **Nothing…nothing…. Now, on with the questions. Winry, are you happy to be back in Resmbool?

**Winry**: I miss Rose. It was great to be able to talk to another girl around my age for once. I'm happy to be back home, though, with my Grandmother, and I'm grateful for my bodyguards, even if they scare me more than they probably scare my enemies (laughs). It was great to find out that Ed was all right, but it was so strange that Lin was Greed. I guess anything is possible now, though.

**Interviewer: **If you always expect the unexpected, things like finding Ed in your room won't scare you anymore.

**Ed: **It was for the VIEW!

**Interviewer: **Now, Ed, what were you thinking when Winry told you to go meet up with your father, better known as Hoho Papa?

**Ed: **I'm not too excited about it, though I'm looking forward to a chance to finally hit him like I promised to. Plus, I want to get some information out of him.

**Interviewer: **Are you going to hit him with your metal arm for the stronger impact or your real arm so you can feel it?

**Ed: **It all depends on the mood I'm in (smirks).

**Interviewer: **Anyhow, what are your thoughts about training the Briggs' army, Grumman?

**Grumman: **It should be interesting with Bradley keeping an eye on us. I'm still not sure what we're going to do with that situation, but I'm sure we'll figure it out.

**Interviewer: **Yes, we all know how creative you can be…

**Grumman: **We don't have much time, though. The Day of Promise is coming closer and closer everyday!

**Interviewer: **Now, Al, you had a very interesting plot twist in the last chapter. First of all, your soul has been pulling away from your armor more and more. How do you _feel _about this?

**Al: **I'm quite worried. I don't know how I'm going to fight back when I'm in such a condition.

**Interviewer: **Are you worried about what the homunculi have in store for you?  
**Al:** Of course I am! I don't think they'll kill me, though, because I'm a human sacrifice. What they have in store for me can't be good, though, especially so close to the Day of Promise.

**Interviewer: **It won't be the first time you've been kidnapped. On a lighter note, how are you feeling traveling alone? Do you worry about _Mei _at all?  
**Al: **Uh, who? You mean Xiao Mei?

**Interviewer: **Forget it, boy. Now, Gluttony, tell us something about your plans.

**Gluttony: **Well, I plan to have a large snack after this, and then some dinner.

**Interviewer: **Um, I meant what kind of things you and your siblings have in store for our helpless heroes?  
**Gluttony: **Hopefully, I'll be able to eat them, but Father tells me I can't…

**Interviewer: **Do you know what Envy has in mind for poor Mei?

**Gluttony: **If I tell you, I'd have to eat you. But then again, that wouldn't be too bad…

…

**Interviewer: **We were forced to end the interview there due to a violent incident that occurred involving Gluttony trying to eat me and the other guests. I don't know which characters will be coming for the interview next month, but we shall see what happens soon enough!


	2. 85 Empty Box

**Interviewer:** Here we are with a new interview for the latest chapter of Fullmetal Alchemist, _Empty Box_, chapter 85. We have with us today Wrath, Ed, Roy, and Hohenheim.

…

**Interviewer: **So, Ed, you finally got to hit Hohenheim, huh? We discussed this in our last interview, too. In the end you stuck with the metal arm, huh?

**Ed: **The harder the better. I've been looking forward to that for years! Smiles menacingly

**Hohenheim: **And I've been expecting it for a while. Sighs

**Interviewer: **You had a fun filled chapter, huh, Hoho? You got a message from Trisha, which was appreciated by all the HohoxTrisha fan girls. You also got to join Ed's gang!

**Ed: **Those people? I'd hardly call it a gang.

**Hohenheim: **There are fan girls?

**Interviewer:** I'm sure that the anime Hoho would have known this and have gone on a date with each one of them by now…

**Hohenheim: **I was happy to finally receive this message and to join the uprising against the homunculi.

**Interviewer:** Ed, how much do you miss Winry right now?

**Ed: **W-w-w-what? Winry? What _about _Winry? I wasn't thinking about her! I was thinking about how iron is affected by the combination of one hydrogen molecule and two oxygen!

**Interviewer:** Look, Ed-chan's so flustered that he mixed up his Hydrogen and Oxygen molecules! It's H20, Ed.

**Ed: **blushes and turns away This interview is stupid. I'm hungry.

**Interviewer: **You're always hungry.

**Ed**: I'm eating for two, okay?

**Interviewer: **Holy Arakawa flying over the moon, you're _pregnant_?

**Ed: **Al's _body you idiot_! Do you read this series at all?

**Interviewer: **I read for the now practically nonexistent pairing of Roy and Riza. So, Roy, what do you have to say for yourself? Inheriting Olivia's house, sending her flowers, sharing your and Riza's message with her…what's going on? Us fan girls are a little upset with you.

**Roy: **shrugs What's the big deal? I hate to admit it, but she may be Fuhrer someday, so I might as well get on good terms with her.

**Interviewer: **Damn it, Colonel! There are ways to do that without killing the fan girls…I think…well, not really…but you could at least try. I mean, 'gentle loveliness'? Come on, man!

**Ed: **She's not what I'd call gentle _or _lovely.

**Hohenheim: **Now, now, Ed. We mustn't talk poorly of a man's girlfriend while he's in the room with us.

**Interviewer: **barfs

**Ed: **Don't talk like you're my father!

**Interviewer: **I can't stand thinking about that scene anymore, Mustang. Just know that while you may have kick ass planning skills, all the Roy and Riza fan girls curse you.

**Roy: **You represent all the fan girls?

**Interviewer: **And boys!

**Ed: **Can we stop talking about the stupid Colonel?

**Interviewer: **Bradley, you've been awfully quiet. Tell us what it was liked to be pwned.

**Wrath: **Amusing. Humans are amusing.

**Interviewer: **Sure, sure. Now, what were you thinking as the train blew up?

**Wrath: **I was thinking of what a relief it was to have less people to give a monthly paycheck to.

**Interviewer: **Bradley, you may be insane, but you're amazing, man.

**Roy: **I wouldn't say he's amazing.

**Interviewer: **You've lost the right to speak, Colonel. Turns away That's all for now, everyone! Stay tuned for more soon!


	3. 86 Messenger From the Void

Interviewer: Here we are with a new interview for the latest chapter of Fullmetal Alchemist, chapter 86

**Interviewer:** Here we are with a new interview for the latest chapter of Fullmetal Alchemist, chapter 86. Sorry it took so long to come out, but I've been trying to get Roy Mustang on and he was too upset from my teasing during the previous interview to come. The show must go on, though, and today I will be interviewing Ed, Heinkel, Grumman, and Ran Fan. Let's get to it, now, shall we?

**Interviewer:** So, Ed, tell us what was going through your mind when you saw Pride inside of Al?

**Ed: **Well, pretty much what I said. "You son of a bitch!"

**Interviewer: **Come on, that can't be it?

**Ed: **Well…for a minute there, I was kind of…angry.

**Interviewer: **Because they dared to hurt your younger brother!

**Ed: **Actually, I was angry at Al. He always tells me _I _can't go in his armor because he only lets in cats and girls! I found this unfair!

**Interviewer: **blinks uncertainly Well…he didn't have much of a choice…or maybe Pride is actually a gi-

**Ed: **These interviews are weird enough without your theories.

**Interviewer: **Right…sorry. On with the questions! Ed, what was it like to actually be in a fight? It's been so long since we've seen you in any _serious _action.

**Ed: **It was great! Not as great as hitting Hohenheim, but great!

**Interviewer: **You're too cruel.

**Ed: **Like you're one to talk. You scared the Colonel off the show with all your Olivia business.

**Interviewer: **My username is RoyxRizaFan. It was my duty. Clears throat Sorry, I got distracted again. Heinkel, what's it like to actually have something worthwhile to do in an episode? People might actually start remembering your name.

**Heinkel: **It's really cool. I hope that I can become a more likable character as the story progresses.

**Interviewer:** Hm, good luck with that. Anyway, do you even think you stand a chance against the strongest homunculus, Pride?

**Heinkel**: Next episode will tell.

**Interviewer:** These interviews never do any good. You guys never tell me _anything_…. Moving on to Grumman. Ok, seriously, dude. What was up with you this episode? Did you mean all that you said about Roy and Olivia taking the blame for everything? Did Roy plan for you to do that? He has to keep the 520 Cenz promise, so it can't be!

**Grumman: **Are you answering your own questions?

**Interviewer:** I don't really know what I'm saying. I just hope you're not as evil as you seem. We love you, you old pervert!

**Grumman: **laughs what isn't to love?

**Interviewer:** Blaming Roy for everything?

**Grumman: **It may or may not be soon that you find out my real intentions. All you can do for now is judge me by my past actions to see if I'd do something like that.

**Interviewer:** All I remember is you slapping Rebecca's ass and dressing like a woman.

**Grumman: **I wish you luck.

**Interviewer:** Last but _definitely _not least, we have Ran Fan! Welcome back; we've missed you like crazy!

**Ran Fan: **My loyalty to my prince brought me back.

**Interviewer:** Luckily, he was in charge of his body when you showed up. He seems happy to see you.

**Ran Fan: **blushes I-I _guess_…

**Interviewer:** Aw, you're so shy about your prince…. Anyway, your automail is _awesome_. Everyone loves it! I hope you can really pwn those homunculi.

**Ran Fan: **I'm sure I can.

**Interviewer:** You really _did _only take six months to recover. Good for you. That means you beat Ed!

**Ed: **Hey! I was a kid then!

**Interviewer:** Excuses, excuses… sighs Well, that's all for now! Hopefully the Colonel will be willing to come back by next time! Thanks for reading!


	4. 87 An Underground Oath

Interviewer: Hello all, and welcome to our interview for chapter 87, An Underground Oath

**Interviewer: **Hello all, and welcome to our interview for chapter 87, _An Underground Oath_. This newly released chapter focuses on the beginning of the fight in Central and Ed&Co's struggle against the homunculi Pride and Gluttony. With us today we have Roy, Pride, Father Dude, and Fuu. Let's start off with Roy! First of all, I'd like to thank you for finally agreeing to come back on, even after all the teasing I did to you after _The Open Box_.

**Roy: **I guess I can't hold a grudge with someone who supports my cause. Not many people do.

**Interviewer: **I'm just a reader, though, so there's nothing else I can do…. Anyway, we're all very surprised to see how you know Madame Christmas!

**Roy: **I guess it's not obvious to someone on the outside that we're sort of related.

**Interviewer: **Yeah, that was a shocker. It's clever how she came up with her nickname, though. Chris Mustang. Chris Mus…Christmas! coughs Moving on, what's up with the kidnapping of Mrs. Bradley? Why is Olivia telling Father Dude about it?

**Roy: **Obviously, it's all part of our plan. Armstrong isn't telling him for the hell of it.

**Interviewer: **I guess we should never doubt her! laughs Was it nice being reunited with some of your old group?

**Roy: **Of course it was! It gives me a good feeling of old times, when things were simpler.

**Interviewer: **Pride, you had an active role in the past few chapters. You've been able to show why you're the number one homunculi! Ed and the others have been able to outsmart you quite a few times, though.

**Pride: **They won't win in the end! They're no match for me.

**Interviewer: **That may be true, especially after all of the new _powers _you've gained by the end of the chapter. Honestly, Pride, what was up with you devouring your brother?

**Pride: **He was dying anyway.

**Interviewer: **You should learn for Ed and Al about brotherhood. You're not supposed to eat your siblings!

**Pride: **Like I care.

**Interviewer: **Forgot who I was talking to for a moment there…. Now, even though you're the strongest, you've also got the youngest looking body. For Heaven's sake, Mei looks older than you!

**Pride: **It's a pain sometimes, but it makes my enemies hesitate and I'm suspected less.

**Interviewer: **You certainly are. I'll never get over the fact that Selim Bradley is Pride. Now, Father Dude, you don't seem to know what you're doing anymore! What's up with that?

**Father Dude: **Why the 'dude' tagged on to my name?

**Interviewer: **That's how I've always referred to you, and I'm sticking to it!

**Father Dude: **sighs Silly human…

**Interviewer: **groans Come on, man. Answer the question.

**Father Dude: **I'm a little stumped, but I know what I'm doing. In the end, I'll win. I have more people working for me. A few rats like the Elric brothers and Mustang aren't going to stop me.

**Interviewer: **Uh-_huh_. Keep telling yourself that, Father Dude. Fuu, it's been ages. We've missed you and your granddaughter! Welcome back!

**Fuu: **bows Thank you for having me here today.

**Interviewer: **No prob. First off, I'm like to have a laugh over what onemanga's been calling you: Huu.

**Fuu: **shrugs It's not too far off.

**Interviewer: **I found it somewhat amusing, though…. Well, now you're back, and armed with all sorts of bombs! How sweet is that?

**Fuu: **Excuse me?

**Interviewer: **Um, I just meant that I liked your bombs.

**Fuu: **Oh, of course. They do come in handy, don't they? A guard of the prince must always be prepared for battle!

**Interviewer: **And you two sure are! What was it like seeing your master again, even under such terrible circumstances?

**Fuu: **As you could tell, I'm still upset that the homunculus has taken his body.

**Interviewer: **We all were at first, but we're getting used to it little by little, though I would prefer is Ling had complete control, personally. Well, that's all for now! Thanks for reading and please let me know what you think!


	5. 88 Familial Love

Interviewer: Sorry we were late again coming out with our interview, but we had to get the Elrics to agree to let us borrow Pr

**Interviewer: **Sorry we were late again coming out with our interview, but we had to get the Elrics to agree to let us borrow Pride for a bit, which took a bit of convincing. Today we have with us Edward, Greed, Pride, Hohenheim, and Scar.

**Ed:**__I still think it's a stupid idea to bring Pride here.

**Interviewer: **You also seemed to think it was a stupid idea to lock him up in the first place. Which argument are you supporting?

**Ed: **(groans) Jeez, you're always so _persistent_. I like the plan of capturing the bastard, I just don't think Al should be locked up with him!

**Interviewer: **(grins teasingly) Aw, isn't that sweet? Ed's looking out for his little brother.

**Pride: **As if that's something new. Man, you humans sure are _slow_.

**Interviewer: **But apparently, they were smart enough to trick you. Admit it, dude, you got _pwned. _

**Pride: **(pretends he knows what that means) I was not…well, I won't admit to anything!

**Interviewer: **You also tripped. Then you said you liked your mother.

**Pride: **I _never _said that!

**Interviewer: **Of course not (rolls eyes) Still, how can she _not _notice that you don't grow? Are you, like, manipulating her brain to think that you are or something?

**Pride: **You really are an idiot.

**Interviewer: **Thanks for that in-depth answer. So, Hoho Papa, my friend! You and Al kicked some serious ass in the latest chapter. You're good at alchemy, huh?

**Hohenheim: **Well, I have been practicing for the past few centeries.

**Interviewer: **That would help, huh? You seemed to be very fond of Al, sticking up for him like that. It seems like no one can dislike our dear Al. Not even _Pride_.

**Pride: **Where do you get all this _nonsense _that I like humans?

**Interviewer: **And he calls me stupid. Sheesh! Okay, Greed, tell us a little bit about how you plan to take over the world.

**Greed: **I'm thinking of heading to Central next.

**Interviewer: **What does this mean for Ling?

**Greed: **Ha! Should I care?

**Interviewer: **I wonder if Lan Fan or someone will try to stop you…

**Greed: **Like they'd stand a chance, anyway.

**Interviewer: **So, Central, huh? Is that where you're heading next, Scar? I hope so. I'm really worried about Mei. How could everyone let her go off with that mind-controlling manipulative shrimp?

**Ed: **What did you say about me?

**Interviewer: **He hears the word 'shrimp' and thinks I'm addressing him…man, talk about insecure.

…

**Interviewer: **Ahem, I apologize but we have to end this interview ahead of time…Ed got a little out of control after my comments, so…I guess we'll have to wait until the next chapters to find out the answers to the rest of our questions. I apologize to Scar for dragging him here when he ended up not getting a chance to speak. Though I doubt he cares. He's probably relieved. But _anyway_…thanks for tuning in, and I hope to see you again once chapter 89 rolls around! So long!


	6. 89 Soldiers Come Marching Home

**Interviewer: **That was a pretty badass chapter, wouldn't you all agree? I was practically jumping with joy throughout the entire thing! So many old faces popped up that I had difficulty choosing which characters to invite, but I've decided with Ed (per usual), Denny, Roy, Scar (to make up for last month) and Clemin.

**Ed: **Why do I have to come here when I was hardly in the last chapter?

**Interviewer: **Because, you're so much fun to tease!

**Ed: **(anger mark) …

**Roy: **Wow, Fullmetal's actually containing his anger. What's happened while I was gone? (laughs)

**Interviewer: **(also anger marks) Roy, do not talk lightly of your previous disappearance or us fan girls will not act so friendly…

**Ed: **The Colonel has fan girls? (snorts) And you consider yourself friendly?

**Interviewer: **(ignores) So, ED, are you missing Winry yet?

**Ed: **What the hell? Why does it always come back to _Winry _with you?

**Interviewer: **I already told you. I'm a fan girl.

**Ed: **…You're one crazy…(mutters)

**Interviewer: **Excuse me?

**Denny: **Believe me, it's not worth repeating.

**Interviewer: **(glares) Why do I keep inviting a short little brat like you?

**Ed: **That's what I asked…wait a sec! Did you just call me short???!!!

**Interviewer: **So, Denny, you've been gone, for, like, _years_. It's about time you came back. You have a million siblings.

**Denny: **Well, five, but it certainly feels like a million at times.

**Interviewer: **I hope those kids listened to you and didn't use the telescope…

**Denny: **Yeah, it's a good thing I was there to stop them.

**Interviewer: **Though it would have been hilarious either way.

**Denny: **…What kind of person are you…?

**Ed: **See, I'm not the only one that's noticed-

**Interviewer: **Oi, your part is over! I'm talking to Denny now.

**Ed: **(mutters under breath)

**Interviewer: **So, _Roy_, you were pretty amazing in this chapter, finally _doing something _again.

**Roy: **(cringes) What are you trying to imply with those emphasized words…?

**Interviewer: **(ignores) So, you've got tons of back up. All your old buddies are with you again.

**Roy: **That aspect is great, but it does bring back some bad memories, seeing all my soldiers from Ishbal.

**Interviewer: **I'm sure it does. How about seeing Havoc again, though? That was cool, how he's able to help out even from where he's from.

**Roy: **(laughs) He better be giving me all that for free, though. I'm broke enough.

**Interviewer: **According to Rebecca, everyone's broke. You're a bunch of losers. Lovable losers, though.

**Roy: **Should I thank you…?

**Interviewer: **I always accept thanks…. It was totally epic seeing Maria Ross again. That's been even _longer _than Denny's absence. I'm so excited that she's back in action! We can owe that to Havoc, too!

**Roy: **It seems like we're all set for now.

**Interviewer: **So, Scar, you've got a little group of friends, but when I see group shots of you all, you totally stand out amongst them. They're all, like, freaky nerds and you're like the badass rebel. What do you think of these people?

**Scar: **All I care about is obtaining my goal.

**Interviewer: **Of course. What about Mei, though? I was sure you were going to meet up with her. Will you be doing that anytime soon?

**Scar: **(?) If I could tell you, you wouldn't have to read the book…

**Interviewer: **You people are never any fun (sighs) So, Clemin, how did it feel to find out that Roy was going easy on you? When I first noticed it, I was laughing so hard, and I was dying by the time you found out (loser!)

**Clemin: **(ignores last comment) I'll get that Mustang and his buddies back. Don't get too comfortable – I'll take them all down in the long run! (is glaring at Roy)

**Interviewer: **(glances between the two) I need to be more careful about who I invite. Um, Clemin, did you even think for a second that Wrath might not want you killing his wife?

**Clemin: **(laughs) You honestly think he'd mind? You're so ignorant. You don't know anything about us.

**Interviewer: **Hm, I was expecting that answer, but I'm not sure that I'm the one who's wrong here. Anyway, thanks to everyone who sat through the interview with us, and I hope you'll be around for chapter 90 next month! So long until then!


	7. 90 The Immortal Army

**Interviewer: **Here we are with Ed, Olivia, Hoho Papa, Denny, the freaky zombie maker dude and Al for our new, and belated, interview for Chapter 90 of the Fullmetal Alchemist manga, _The Immortal Army_. Without further delay, let us begin! So, Ed-

**Ed: **Why do you always start with _me_?

**Interviewer: **It's a new policy. We're going from shortest to tallest.

**Ed: **!#$%

**Interviewer: **What?

**Hoho Papa: **Leave it be.

**Interviewer: **(glares at Ed) Do I need a restraining order?

**Ed: **(mutters)

**Interviewer: **That's what I thought.

**Olivia: **Are you two just going to bicker the whole time, or does this have an actual point?

**Ed: **(mutters)

**Olivia: **You talking to me, shrimp?

**Interviewer: **Are you two just going to bicke-

**Zombie Dude: **Not this again. I have a lot to do. I don't have time for this.

**Interviewer: **You do realize you're dead, right?

Zombie Dude: …

**Interviewer: **Which is what I wanted to ask you about. Before your 'children' killed you, you had this strange moment where you were all like, 'daddy' and 'my babies' and all that. Do you mind me asking what the _hell _that was?

**Zombie Dude: **What, did you find it touching?

**Interviewer: **More disturbing than anything.

**Zombie Dude: **I was just using them (voice cracks)

**Interviewer: **Thank God this creeper's dead (shudders) Back to Ed.

**Ed: **Aw, come off of it.

**Interviewer: **Missing Winry yet?

**Ed: **What was that?

**Interviewer: **(clears throat) Um, I was about to ask what you were thinking when those doors opened to reveal those zombies.

**Ed: **I was thinking 'wtf'.

**Interviewer: **So was I. 'Cept I was sitting in front of PC laughing and you were getting eaten alive. It's a little different but whatever.

**Ed: **Are you on-

**Interviewer: **Pocky? Yes, I admit to my addiction.

**Ed: **(head-desk)

**Interviewer: **For Ed's sake, I'll move on. Hoho Papa, you were downright amazing in this chapter.

**Hoho: **I didn't do anything.

**Interviewer: **Dude, just being there makes you amazing. Even just standing in a panel-

**Ed: **And you called the other guy a creeper.

**Interviewer: **This is called appreciating the epicness that is Hohenheim. The other guy's like-

**Olivia: **(sigh) Get to the friggin point, for crying out loud.

**Interviewer: **Uh, yeah, so Hoho, I just wanted to say that your line about hanging out with the young chick was amazing. Just like you. And everything else you do.

**Ed: **I'm going to be sick. This ass actually has _fans_?

**Interviewer: **His name is Hoho Papa. That enough should earn him a fan base.

**Ed: **That isn't his _name_, you dum-

**Hoho: **Thank you.

**Interviewer: **On a serious note, it was sweet of you to let Ran Fan go. I was like, "That's the Hoho we know and love!"

**Ed: **(gags)

**Interviewer: **So, Al, what is up with you?

**Al: **…What do you mean?

**Interviewer: **You don't know morse code?

**Al: **Do you?

**Interviewer: **So, Denny-

**Ed: **Ha, look at her, avoiding the question.

**Interviewer: **(sweat drops) Um, Denny…what does it feel like to be the only person who isn't in the loop right now? You're, like, the geek that no one tells anything to. You're running around screaming about Mustang and you don't even know what you're talking about. We love you anyway, but what is with this?

**Denny: **What do you mean? I know everything that Mustang did. That bastard!

**Interviewer: **There he goes again (sighs) So, Olivia.

**Olivia: **It's about time.

**Interviewer: **Uh, yeah. First of all, I wanted to let you know you are the most bad ass thing ever.

**Olivia: **That's Briggs for you.

**Interviewer: **I also wanted to ask you how you managed to do that awesome pose where you had one hand pointing a gun and the other a sword. That was too amazing for words.

**Olivia: **(smirks) It was nothing.

**Interviewer: **(mutters) _Then why the snickering?_(clears throat) Well, thanks so much for coming in for another (extremely belated) interview! Hope to see you next time!


	8. 91 The Philosopher's Return

**Interviewer: **We're here for a quick interview with the cast of Fullmetal Alchemist! Today we have with us Mei, Envy, Olivia, Ed, and Hoho Papa for _The Philosopher's Revival_. So, Mei, did you honestly expect anything good to come out of brining Envy to central?

**Mei: **(blushes)

**Interviewer: **It's all good – we love you anyway. Do you think you stand a chance against a homunculus by yourself, though?

**Mei: **Don't underestimate me – I'll fight until the end, despite my size.

**Interviewer: **See how nicely she says it, Ed? Why can't you take a tip from her?

**Ed: **Why would I take a tip from someone who just revived a homunculus?

**Interviewer: **Be nice – you two might be in-laws someday.

**Ed: **(eyes grow wide in horror) Are you trying to imply that Al-

**Interviewer: **I'm not implying – I _know_. Right, Mei?

**Mei: **(gets dreamy, far away look)

**Interviewer: **See, Ed?

**Ed: **That doesn't prove _anything_!

**Interviewer: **So, Envy – do you think you'll have any problems with Mei?

**Envy: **Not really. I'm completely revived now. That means that all of my lives are back now. She'll have to kill me multiple times to completely defeat me. For someone like her, all by herself, that's next to impossible.

**Interviewer: **I guess we'll have to see if you're right or not. Olivia, I just brought you here to let you know how incredibly badass you are.

**Olivia: **If that's the only reason you brought me here, you're dead.

**Interviewer: **Um…well…uh…how about this…do you think you'll have to fight Sloth?

**Olivia: **Well, everyone obviously knows by now that Briggs is _not _on Central's side. If he doesn't try to fight, then he's not a very loyal homunculi.

**Interviewer: **Do you think you stand a chance? Remember all it took to defeat him last time.

**Olivia: **I think I do.

**Interviewer: **Ed, do you think the zombies are an interesting addition to the plot?

**Ed: **Hell no! They're plain annoying, and just _weird_! As if I wasn't having enough trouble with all of this, I have to deal with _them _on top of it! I'll be worn down before I even get to Father Dude!

**Interviewer: **Speaking of Father Dude – Hoho Papa. What the _hell _was up with the last few lines of the last chapter? Since it's been a while, I'll rehash it for everyone.

---

Hoho Papa: No need to bring a big group to punish one misbehaving child. Eh, my little friend from the flask?

Father Dude: Slave #23, you gave my part of your body. This time you will become part of mine.

---

**Interviewer: **Was this supposed to be some weird slang used for "Hey, you were seme last time, not it's my turn?"

**Ed: **What's 'seme'?

**Envy: **Not you.

**Interviewer: **Let's leave that question unanswered to those who don't know. Hoho, can I please have a response to this accusation?

**Hoho Papa: **You fans sure interpret things strangely.

**Interviewer: **That's the fun of it all, though. But remember, Hoho: misinterpreting what you say and do is a hell lot easier than with any other character. Well, that's all for now! I hope you'll let me know what you thought of the interview and make sure to come back next time!


	9. 93 Arch Enemy

**Interviewer: **I apologize for the lack of an interview last month-

**Ed: **I didn't mind it-

**Interviewer: **-But now we can have an even _longer _interview to make up for it!

**Ed: **Shit!!!

**Interviewer: **Today's characters are Pride, Heinkel, Olivia, Mei, Roy, Envy, and, of course, Ed! Let's start with Pride. So, what is it with you eating people all the time? Is that actually what you did – _eat _Kimblee? He's psycho, but I'm going to miss him (as will his luvr Miles JK)

**Pride: **(ignores last comment) The point of 'eating' people is to gain their PS.

**Interviewer: **You're like a freaking druggie when you do things like that. Do you realize that the PS could easily be mistaken as a drug?

**Pride: **…I swear, humans get more and more foolish with each thing they say-

**Interviewer: **(ahem) Anyhow, I also wanted to ask what you meant by what you said when Al was leaving with the others. You said it was according to plan or something diabolical like that.

**Pride: **I'm herding everyone into Central so we can complete the plan, so they're going right where I want them to.

**Interviewer: **Great. Just great (sighs) It should be interesting, at least. So, Heinkel, how do you feel about what happened in this chapter?

**Heinkel: **You sounds like a psychiatrist when you talk like that. About your question, though…I'm happy with what I did to Kimblee. He's been a pain in my neck and has been using me and the other chimera all along. You can understand why I'd want to deliver the final blow to him.

**Interviewer: **A lot of people were shocked that he went so easily. He's such a flashy person, and he has such a quick exit.

**Pride: **He's not _really _gone. He's still inside of me.

**Interviewer: **I suppose. Any comments on Yoki's part in the chapter, anyone?

**Heinkel: **I was definitely shocked, but too relieved to think too far into it (laughs) I still can't believe that…I guess our energy is infectious.

**Interviewer: **It sure is. Olivia, you didn't seem scared at all by your situation. I guess that's exaggerating a bit, but arguing about inheritance in a situation like that…? What was going through your head?

**Olivia: **The inheritance, obviously.

**Interviewer: **(sighs) I _meant_, how could you be so brave in a situation like that? Other than the fact that you're epic win, of course.

**Olivia: **I can't waste time doing things like worrying. The situation demands my full attention, so I can't sit around whimpering. Don't forget – I was the _General _at _Briggs_.

**Interviewer: **What were you thinking when that soldier thought the zombies were Briggs men?

**Olivia: **(seethes)

**Interviewer: **Um…one more. Do you think they'll let you and Alex fight?

**Olivia: **I think they will. They're mindless, spineless wimps. All of them.

**Interviewer: **Mei, were you nervous taking on Envy and all those zombies by yourself?

**Mei: **Well, only enough to keep me on my toes. It's not like it's my first time dealing with homunculi, though, and I'm prepared enough by now to be ready for situations like this. I may be small, but I'm certainly not a bad alchemist!

**Interviewer: **That's for sure! I was rooting you on the whole time. What's it like being with the others again?

**Mei: **Even though Mr. Scar seemed upset, I'm happy to see him again. Hopefully I'll get to see Al soon, too! Things are a little tense right now, though, so I can't think too much about that…

**Interviewer: **'Tense' is an understatement. It seems like things are about to get a little crazy. Roy, it was awesome seeing you again, and I can't wait to see what you do next chapter. You've been off and on for so long that I was going crazy seeing you reenter the spotlight.

**Roy: **(smirks) I'm excited, too. I wasn't too surprised to see that Fullmetal wasn't handling this by himself.

**Ed: **Hey!

**Interviewer: **Seeing the two of you together again was hilarious.

**Ed: **The Colonel took long enough to show up.

**Interviewer: **That he did.

**Roy: **You're siding with _him_?

**Interviewer: **Your abscense is only forgiven because you were so adorable and amazing in this chapter. The end was really promising, too. What are you going to do now that you know who killed Hughes?

**Roy: **What do you think? It's just as I said – I'm going to fry that brat to a crisp.

**Interviewer: **Isn't it funny that it's the same place you fought Lust? Is this just coincidence?

(silence)

(crickets)

**Ed: **How would we know? We don't write the story.

**Interviewer: **Um, yeah, anyway, Envy! You realize you're about to get your ass kicked, right?

**Envy: **Ha, as if! These stupid humans can't get me-

**Interviewer: **You realize this is exactly what you said before Ogre-Marcoh kicked your ass, right?

**Envy: **Hey, I-

**Interviewer: **Anyway, thanks for reading! I hoped you enjoyed the interview and that you'll let me know what you thought!


	10. 94 The Flames of Revenge

**Interviewer: **This latest chapter of Fullmetal Alchemist, _The Flames of Revenge, _was definitely a jaw dropper. One of my favorites in the last year.

**Ed: **That's because you're biased.

**Roy: **Stop picking fights, Fullmetal. It's not her fault that she's fallen for my charms.

**Ed: **Don't talk to me about picking fights, Colonel.

**Interviewer: **Ahem, aside from the obvious Ed and Roy, today we have with us Riza, Scar, and Breda. Let's start with Breda, as the chapter did. Dude, we were all dying as we realized why you had brought in Mrs. Bradley. That's a great idea.

**Breda: **It's about time the public began to find out what's really going on behind the scenes, and we felt like this was the easiest way to do it.

**Interviewer: **Seeing you, Ross, and Fuery again was awesome as well. We've missed you guys!

**Breda: **(laughs) Well, I've missed being around, too.

**Interviewer: **How did you decide how much to let the public know?

**Breda: **We needed them to start doubting the government, but if we told them the entire truth about the homunculi they wouldn't have believed us. We have to take it slowly. They've been following Bradley for years, so it isn't going to be easy.

**Interviewer: **Well, you're off to a good start! Now, Scar – is it true that you've had an entire change of heart? Are you finally following the lesson of your master?

**Scar: **I can't continue with what I've been doing all this time. I may have thought I was killing the state alchemist, but I was killing myself along with them.

**Interviewer: **Wow, man, that was deep. I'm hoping that you can help calm Roy down next chapter.

**Ed: **I say we just give him a good punch in the face.

**Interviewer: **That works too. Or Riza can shoot him and reveal she doesn't have a real gun, but a tranquilizer!

**Riza: **It's a real gun.

**Interviewer: **Then knock him out with it.

**Roy: **Ugh, what a headache that would be…

**Ed: **Right now, you're our headache; so don't look for any sympathy.

**Interviewer: **Roy, this last chapter was crazy for you. You lost your senses during your fight with Envy.

**Roy: **He killed Hughes. What did you expect?

**Interviewer: **We certainly did expect this, but seeing it was entirely different. The look in your eyes was truly frightening.

**Ed: **We never should have left that nut! I wouldn't have if I didn't trust the Lieutenant so much.

**Interviewer: **Riza, you kicked ass in this chapter. We were all so worried about you after you mentioned your guns being worthless, but you still pwned. The foreshadowing bit where Ed asked you if you were all right, and you looked at Roy's back and went, "if we're not, then…" was amazing, too. So you knew from the start that you might have to live up to your promise?

**Riza: **I always hoped I wouldn't have to, but the Colonel was losing sight of himself in his anger.

**Interviewer: **Ha, that's a nice way of putting it. The guy was a maniac. It was badass, though. Even though I know I'm not supposed to be thinking this…seeing Envy getting his ass kicked was good for the time being. Anyhow, what do you think it's going to be that will get Roy back to his senses? A memory of the reason why Hughes said he'd follow him? A memory of all the promises he's made? Or just some common sense?

**Riza: **I think it will take a little bit of everything, because the Colonel is in quite a state right now.

**Ed: **You left out a good punch in the face.

**Interviewer: **That too…

**Scar: **I think if he hears a little bit from me, he might cool down.

**Interviewer: **Yeah, I mean, look what happened to you after you killed the Rockbells. We can't have Roy ending up like his anime counterpart, now can we? But now onto the biggest question of all…drum roll, please…

**Ed: **(grumbles) If you're going to ask my height, I swear, I'll-

**Interviewer: **Riza, what was it that told you that wasn't the Colonel?

(silence)

**Interviewer: **Riza? Where did she go…?

**Roy: **It seems the Lieutentant vanished.

**Interviewer: **Then you tell me, Roy. Was she really bluffing when she said you called her 'Riza' when you're alone?

**Roy: **You've seen us alone before. I still call her Lieutenant.

**Interviewer: **What about…_out of work_…if you catch my drift.

(silence)

**Interviewer: **Roy? Don't tell me that he also…

**Ed: **Arakawa would kill them if they said anything. She likes to torture you obsessive fans.

**Interviewer:** Honestly, that scene was the worst I've ever fallen for an April Fool's joke in my life.

**Ed: **That's because you're gullible. Do you honestly think the Lieutenant would tell a manipulative bastard like Envy something that personal?

**Interviewer: **I have to believe…DON'T STOP BELIEVING!

**Scar: **…She's lost it.

**Ed: **Does this mean we can leave, too?

**Breda: **Who's up for Taco Bell?

(everyone starts filing out)

**Interviewer: **Hello?

(silence)

**Interviewer: **Great…well, then, I suppose this is the end of our interview. I'll see you next month, where (hopefully) some of these questions that were rudely avoided (coughRIZAcoughROYcough) can be answered. So long for now!


	11. 95 Beyond the Flame

**Interview: **Okay, seriously, _Beyond the Flame_, chapter 95, was beyond badass. It was so amazing that all the characters were in high demand, and I couldn't get them together for the interview soon enough.

**Ed: **You're just lying so you don't seem disorganized, like you always are.

**Interview: **Honestly, anyone who watches any of my stories should know how irregular I've become since Chem took over my life.

**Ed: **Excuses…

**Interview: **(ignores) I dragged the characters here, refusing their refusals to come.

**Ed: **You refused their refusals?

**Interview: **Stop distracting me! You're making this take longer than it should!

**Ed: **I'm just stalling. I don't want to be here, and you drag me back every month…

**Interview: **You have my persmission to shit talk Roy for the first few minutes of the interview, so don't complain.

**Ed: **When have I ever _not _talking shit about him on your account?

**Interview: **(ignores -get used to it-)ANYWAY, I have Ed, Riza, Roy, Scar, Olivia, and Izumi with me today. Let's start with Ed. I'd like to know what you were thinking-

**Ed: **That the Colonel's a dumbass, as usual-

**Interview: **When Envy commited suicide.

**Ed: **(pauses) Um…well, I was still thinking that in the back of my head, but otherwise, I wasn't too surprised, and I was relieved. I know the Lieutenant would have taken care of him if this hadn't happened, but he really deserved a pitiful death like that.

**Interview: **You and Envy had an interesting relationship.

**Ed: **(mumbles) …That's one way of putting it…

**Interview: **How did you resist the shrimp jokes?

**Ed: **The Colonel's big mouth was distracting me.

**Interview: **How did you resist strangling him when he called _you _a shrimp? Was that some maturity there?

**Ed: **Once again, I was distracted by _someone's _big, fat trap-

**Roy: **Watch it, Fullmetal.

**Interview: **Sorry, Roy. I gave him permission.

**Ed: **Like it makes a difference.

**Roy: **Aw, I thought you were on my side…

**Interview: **I am. I _loved _this chapter-

**Olivia: **This is an interview, not a _review_. Get to the point. I'm kind of busy, you know.

**Interview: **Yeah, I noticed. So is Alex. He was badass last chapter (though who wasn't?), especially when he got his arm relocated. You said he could survive some 'love taps' in his defense, though before you said he was a weak coward. Do you respect him more now?

**Olivia: **I'll never look at him differently for the Isbalan war, no matter what he does or says. He did well _this time_, though…

**Interview: **I don't know if she means it, or if she's just saying it. (sighs) Anyhow, Roy. You were pretty psycho last chapter.

**Roy: **(sigh) So I've noticed.

**Ed: **Took you long enough…

**Roy: **I'm still not afraid to burn your arm off-

**Interview: **This is a violence free area, guys! (mumbles) you can fight as much as you want when _I'm _not around…

**Ed: **Great, I might hold you to that.

**Interview: **We all miss Hughes very much and we all loved seeing Envy get his ass kicked while it lasted, but I think that Riza…um, and those other people, I guess…snapped you out of it just in time.

**Riza: **I can't be given the credit for it. The Colonel was the one who stopped his rampage.

**Interview: **Yeah, whatever. No matter what you two say, or how much you deny it, that was the most delicious chapter since 39.

**Ed: **How do you _remember _with that kind of accuracy?

**Interview: **I'm obsessed, remember? Come on, Ed, you should know this by now.

**Ed: **Someone get me out of here…

**Interview: **So, Riza, when you said you were going to kill your body, were you referring to the tattoo on your back for sure?

**Riza: **I was. I wouldn't want there to be any chance of another Flame Alchemist.

**Interview: **I don't get that, since Roy already fried your back, but sure. And once again, you can't deny that it was something more than that that made you so desperate to make him stop.

**Ed: **You sure like to blow things out of proportion.

**Interview: **ANYWAY, Scar. I feel like all you did was add in some random crap to make it more dramatic.

**Scar: **It was the same thing my master told me. I was repeating the advice I failed to follow, hoping to save another from my fate.

**Interview: **Damn, that is deep. Izumi, you're working with the military. What is this?

**Izumi: **I'm not too happy with the arrangement, but I'll do what I have to. Perhaps after this Ed will finally leave the military and I can get them out of my life completely.

**Interview: **You mean after they get their bodies back? I guess we all still have hope in that. I think Al will get his, at least. Anyhow, that's all the time we have for today! Thanks for reading the interview, and see you again for chapter 96!


	12. 97 The Two Philosophers

**Interviewer: **Sorry for missing chapter 96. Epicness ensued in said chapter, where Olivia and Alex kicked ass, and were shortly accompanied by Izumi…

**Ed: **Everyone read it.

**Interviewer: **But it was _forever _ago!

**Ed: **Two months.

**Interviewer: **Which is the same amount of time since we've seen you. It's kind of excruciating…Al's been gone even longer…and poor Mei, all by herself!

**Ed: **You say each month that you'll stop judging her by her…her…

**Interviewer: **_Height_?

**Ed: **Why are you saying it like that? Huh? You have something you want to say?

**Interviewer: **Oh, Ed, I thought you were over this (sigh) Anyhow, with us today we have Hoho Papa, Father Dude, Falman, Buccaneer, and Wrath. Hoho, how are you so epic?

**Hoho: **It's taken centuries of practice.

**Ed: **There is nothing _epic _about-

**Interviewer: **Give it up, Ed. Over 90 percent of the Fullmetal Alchemist fandom agrees that you'll be crying at your daddy's death. Or something. You never cry.

**Ed: **I wasn't even _in _the chapter. Why am I here?

**Hoho: **So she can pick on you.

**Ed: **And you're on _her _side?

**Interviewer: **What was your first thought when Father Dude revealed that he, too, had evolved?

**Hoho: **It was kind of like, "…oh, crap". Nothing special.

**Interviewer: **Did you really talk to _all _500,000 something souls?

**Hoho: **I did.

**Interviewer: **Wow. See, Ed. He wasn't goofing off all those years.

**Ed: **(seethes)

**Interviewer: **Father Dude, do you realize how (awesomely) creepy you were this chapter?

**Father Dude: **It's all part of my master plan.

**Interviewer: **I never doubted you. Just lay off Mei, all right?

**Ed: **Enough already!

**Interviewer: **If you two, Hoho and Father Dude, had a staring contest, who would win?

**Ed: **How is this even relevant…?

**Interviewer: **My charm is irrelevancy.

**Ed: **Or so you like to think…

**Hoho: **Well, he has more eyes, so he's more likely to blink.

**Interviewer: **Ok, that was a dumb question.

**Ed: **No kidding.

**Interviewer: **How about an arm wrestling match?

**Ed: **Can we get a move on?

**Interviewer: **(sigh) I'm just trying to relieve the tension. Though there's never that much tension between you two.

**Father Dude: **…How is that?

**Interviewer: **I mean, Hoho's jumping around making doors and stuff, and you're turning into a freaking unicorn…it's not entirely angst and drama, though that's how we like it.

**Ed: **_Moving on_.

**Interviewer: **(mutters) Ahem, Falman. We all felt so bad for you this episode. We thought you were going to chicken out, but you didn't. We're all so proud!

**Falman: **Thanks, I guess.

**Interviewer: **I was so sure you'd be a goner-

**Falman: **Uh…

**Interviewer: **But somehow, you survived.

**Buccaneer: **What do you mean, _somehow_? I saved his ass!

**Interviewer: **I read somewhere that the onemanga translation made what you said more awkward, and you didn't actually say…what was it? "I'm the manliest of them all"?

***cast burst into laughter***

**Interviewer: **That was some good stuff, Buccaneer.

**Buccaneer: **I was just trying to get the attention away from him because I knew he'd die if I hadn't.

**Interviewer: **Wrath, what's up with you? You doing all right since your train blew up? You sure took long enough to show up.

**Wrath: **Well, my train _did _blow up, just like you said.

**Interviewer: **Yep, and you're looking like a pirate more than ever. I'm dying to see you and Greeling fight it out, though I think it's too soon for either of you to die. Ran Fan better show up, too. Well, until then! I hope to see you all next time, and thanks for reading the interview!


	13. 98 Unlimited Greed

**Interviewer: **I know I suck at life and never update. This is pathetically late, but here is the interview for chapter 98.

**Ed: **I don't even remember what happened in that chapter.

**Interviewer: **Nothing concerning you, actually. It started out with an _awesome _chapter picture of the seven homunculi-

**Ed: **Is this a commentary or an interview?

**Interviewer: **(ahem) …And then Greeling and Wrath battle it out.

**Greeling: **That Bradley puts up a pretty good fight, but I still got him good.

**Interviewer: **Keep telling yourself that… (in truth, WRATH PWNS ALL) So, Buccaneer, how the heck did you manage to jump right back up when you've lost an arm and just got stabbed by Wrath in the gut?

**Buccaneer: **My arm was automail, so it's not a severe loss, at least on those standards. As for getting stabbed, if that was enough to stop me, I wouldn't be a true Briggs soldier.

**Interviewer: **Wrath, when did you think it was all right to remark to Buccaneer (and I quote) "That's quite a set of abs you've got".

**Bradley: **Teenagers always manage to take things the wrong way.

**Interviewer: **You were kind of asking for it with that one, Wrath. Anyway, Fuu was the next one to join the party. You seemed pretty confident entering the battle, Fuu.

**Fuu: **I will do anything to protect the Prince. Even if he is being controlled by the homunculus Greed, it is still my duty. Also, he is the one that led to my granddaughter losing her arm.

**Interviewer: **ButRan Fan is extremely bad ass with automail, although I guess that's beside the point. Now, onto the most important part of the chapter.

**Ed: **Me running into Goldtooth?

**Interviewer: **You _wish _you were the most important part. On the contrary, it was your older brother, Denny!

**Ed: **He's not my older brother!

**Interviewer: **He's what you'd look like if you were tall. (ignores fuming Ed) I love how Ross is like, "hey, 'sup?"

**Ross: **He definitely had a fast reaction to seeing me, bursting into tears like that in front of everyone (shakes head)

**Interviewer: **Well, he had a hunch since he heard your voice before, but then it was confirmed.

**Ross: **It's a good thing he joined us, though. He'll cause less trouble this way…

**Interviewer: **And we've been waiting since like chapter 40. Olivia and Izumi then dragged some answers out of a guy who looked like an evil Santa Claus.

**Izumi: **He used my best quote to benefit his own reasoning! I should have slapped him with my shoe a few more times.

**Interviewer: **You deserve cookies for doing it at all. That was epic.

**Izumi: **It felt good, too. Especially when Armstrong helped out with her boots.

**Interviewer: **You two are the best pair. If Father had seen you two together, he probably would have been too scared to finish off his plans. Ed, you'll be happy to know that the next part pertains to you.

**Ed: **At this point, I could care less.

**Interviewer: **Right, sure.

**Ed: **(after a moment of consideration) _Although _I did get to yell at the Colonel, and that's always important.

**Interviewer: **Yeah, but then he made a RoyAi comment that completely out shadowed your attempt at blaming him for your problems.

**Ed: **We lost Mei because of him!

**Interviewer: **Don't sound so upset as if she's your best friends. …Although she _will _be your sister in law eventually if things work out the way we obsessive fans hope they will…

**Ed: **…What?

**Interviewers: **_Anyhow_, Scar! What was it liked being thanked by an Amestrian that participated in killing the Ishbalans for saving _another _Amestrian soldier from the war? You acted all indifferent, but we couldn't see your face.

**Scar: **It's just as I said. I don't need to be thanked for anything.

**Interviewers: **Next thing we know, Goldtooth is back in the picture and ready to destroy _everything_! Awesome, right? We'll just have to keep reading to find out how _that _works out (although there are already two more chapters out and I'm just behind on the interviews…)

Thanks for reading, and I hope you'll keep an eye out for chapter 99's interview, which should be out sometime this week!


End file.
